d-esper-ation

Ok, so I have set out to describe my novel, “a life of inches” in 140 characters or less as part of a contest put on by this blog by @Shelley_Watters. Please feel free to comment and criticize. I strongly encourage positive and negative feedback. If you are an author I strongly suggest you check out her blog and twitter. There is a lot of info to be read there.

Title: a life of inches
Genre: General fiction
Word count: 88,000

A love triangle plays out on a baseball diamond as Ryan squares off with injury, addiction, and the luckiest man alive for Molly’s heart.

So this is version 4.0 thanks to all who have offered feedback so far! Please keep it coming. This has been a great experience thus far, and I can’t wait to read some of the books I have read about from your pitches.

here are older drafts for comparison:

a love triangle plays out around a baseball diamond as three friends square off to determine who will stand in the winner’s circle

a love triangle plays out around a baseball diamond as ryan squares off against Woodie to win Molly’s heart.

Warning: If you do not want to know anything about the future, like Doc Brown, do not read this post! It contains a snippet of a radio broadcast from many years from now. Some people think to know the future could cause a paradox or alter our reality in some crazy and terrible way. If you do not know what I am talking about or do not believe me please go watch Howard The Duck or read The Guardians Of The Galaxy.

Many years from now, on the radio, the people of the galaxy will hear this(or something similar) broadcast by Paul Harvey the 5th:

“Many years ago, as the 20th century faded into memory, a young man from Cleveland, Ohio toiled away at various dead end jobs and dreamed big dreams while wishing small wishes.  The city and its proud country of The United States of America was fighting a depression, a war, and an NFL lockout all at once and things had never been more bleak for the people.

We have so many amazing stories of heroism, villainy, and change during this age, but today we are going to focus on this young man from Cleveland. We will watch him toil away at a fast food restaurant, deliver pizzas to non-tipping customers in two feet of snow, instruct many a patient on the proper use of oxygen and electric beds, and we will watch his futile efforts to fulfill those dreams and wishes he covets.

The man performs live music with several bands, writes and self publishes children’s picture books, and even, with the help of his supportive wife, completes several novels and short stories which he is proud of, but the public does not know his name. And in the years to come they will not know his name either for his work is sub-par and lacking of any polish.

If there was one character flaw which held him back it would be stubbornness. Yes, the man realized too late in the game that he had fought his whole life against those who would have helped him succeed, if only, he made a few small concessions. The man never did and he watched the world spin by outside his delivery trucks window as he continued dreaming his big dreams and making his small wishes.

In the end doubt, rejection of his works, and the knowledge he had been his own worst enemy the man finally grasp and admitted he would never be recognized as the artist he craved to be. He drove his truck, supported his family, and watched with failing health from poor eating and exercise habits…as his son became one of the most recognized names in history. The mans name was Douglas. The sons name was Owen Dean Esper, only now you know….the rest of the story.

GO OWEN!

as a young, loud, clueless boy i learned many things from my parents, teachers, friends, and anyone else i came in contact with. many of these lessons stick with me to this day. some i follow, some i have yet to grasp. I am going to, for my sake more than yours, talk about some of these pieces of advice and reflect on how they effect my life.

Now, when i started this blog my intent was not to harp on parents, growing up, or even try and teach from personal experience. The whole purpose was to have an outlet for some of the random thoughts that i haven’t yet fit into my stories. I spend an awful amount of time talking to myself while driving, walking the dog, or whenever i am presented time spent with myself. This talking can be productive, it can be annoying, or it could just scare me into actually doing some writing. thus, here i am…

there are no particular order for the rules or any one that i consider more or less important. I am merely going to reflect as they come into focus, and attempt not to bore us in the process.  the first rule is from my father first and then many others:

THERE IS A TIME FOR HUMOR AND LAUGHTER, AND THERE ARE TIMES TO BE SERIOUS AND QUIET.

man have i missed the boat on this little nugget completely. over the course of my life i have found myself most comfortable in the role of the class clown. it seems whether i am happy, sad, angry, or nervous my instinct is to go for a laugh rather than expose my true feelings. this was evident to the witnesses of an interview i did for a reality tv show called, THE PERFECT PROPOSAL.”

Sitting down at the Phantasy Nite Club in Lakewood, Ohio in front of a camera, lighting, and about five other people I found myself in an awkward position. The crew was there to get footage for a show in which the end result was I was to propose to my gal in front of friends and family. The problem was they wanted to have a sincere emotional exchange as i professed my love for my future wife, and I was not cooperating. It had nothing to do with a lack of love for my wife or a lack of understanding of where the director was taking the interview. no, the problem was with each question he asked i came up with a stupid joke, goofy story, or just stopped and got red cheeked before i could speak.

yes, it is true, i was crazy nervous and a little stressed with the whole process of setting up the show, keeping the secret, and thinking about asking my wife’s parents for their permission, but the person that took the brunt of my nerves was the bassist of the band i was in at the time. he had let me borrow his bass to spice up the “set” a bit, but my crazy, stressed brain couldn’t figure out how to open the case and get the bass out…(sorry mike)

to compensate my mind was on overdrive with jokes to calm me down thus the director certainly did not get the reactions and tears he was counting on to make the segment a slam dunk.

that is just one example, but there are many times that i forgot my fathers advice on paying attention to when it is appropriate to joke and when it is good to shut up.  at no time might this have been more obvious to me as the day of my son’s birth.

330pm Jan 17th and i am telling my boss i need to leave to take my wife to the hospital so she can give birth. his first words to me were to take it seriously, and that my wife would not appreciate jokes at this time…yikes…

415pm i am driving my wife to the hospital and i have let 2 good jokes fly with no response. finally on the third attempt my wife flatly informed me that she was ignoring me and that further joke attempts were not wise.

on some level i understand that sometimes my jokes are unwanted, unappreciated, and inappropriate, but to be honest it is not a thing i can turn on and off with ease. it is an ingrained part of my personality, and for every labor pain zinger that falls flat there is a tension cutting knock knock joke that brings a smile and relieves stress from someones life.

so keep telling me to mind my mouth and curb my laughter, but the bottom line is one day i will be dead, burned to ashes, buried with my wife, and unable to continue my jolly ways. then and only then do i plan on giving it a break.