d-esper-ation

A few years back I had a wack-a-doo idea for a short film that showed the same 15 seconds of a man walking across the screen over the course of years as two people talked on a bench off screen. I began filming my dad, Robert Esper, walking the same little area: sun, rain, snow, sleet or whatever else the world threw at us. He was patient, willing, and showed up whenever asked (for those of you who know how busy my parents stay, you’ll understand). When we started I had almost no equipment aside from a third-hand HD camera and a 5th-hand vintage lens that apparently had survived wars, I didn’t have lighting/audio equipment, no script, and I had no idea how to capture decent footage.

As we shot, I imagined things the people on the bench might be saying, and decided they were co-workers and the man walking was their boss. Though he ran this huge company, he didn’t dress or act like a billionaire. He was kind, compassionate, and generous. The very land he walked through was a nature preserve and park he protected via a huge donation and named the place after his wife, who had passed away.

I bought a few lenses and learned some basic tips, but still I was mostly pointing and shooting at the mercy of the weather and availability. I made every rookie mistake you can make, while inventing a few new ones (I’m an overachiever, you see). One of the biggest mistakes was erasing a data card before the footage was completely transferred, so I lost a few days worth of walking/sweating/planning/shots from the main walking area as well as from a few hours spent at a local city park, shooting my dad traveling around for the intro of the movie.

During all this time, I asked a few folks to act as the two people on the bench, but I was embarrassed/worried/unsure of myself and my abilities and nervous at getting someone to commit multiple days for a film that might end up terrible. I found the first piece of the puzzle in John Cesa, a smart, funny comedian in the area, who went to college with my wife and who had directed a short of his own back then that she acted in.

I explained the concept and told John that most/all of the dialogue would be improvised and then chopped up to match the length of shots of my dad waling. Coming from improv comedy groups, he had more experience than most in handling that situation. John jumped on board, but waited and waited and waited as I kept telling him I was getting closer to ready to shoot.

I found a location near his job, but struggled to find the second person to accompany him. I wanted to add diversity to the cast (age, race, gender), so I limited my search and eliminated myself from getting cast in my own short.

A chance meeting on the set of a short film, being produced by a CSU student on their campus, led me to meet an awesome actor, who I thought perfect for the role. He and I discussed the story and as a guy trying to make his first demo reel, he came on board with excitement.

Winter was coming to a close and I wanted to get some shots of the two men talking on the bench with snow falling, just in case I needed something to intersperse with my dad-walking footage. I scheduled a lunch meetup at a park in Parma.

I set up my camera, some props, and some outfit changes to help sell the time lapse element. John showed up, ready to role. The other guy called and canceled about 15 minutes after we were supposed to start… I didn’t want to waste the efforts or waste John’s time, so I pressed record on my camera and on my digital recorder and we spent about an hour freezing and chatting. John was great and solidified what a solid pick he was.

But I didn’t like what I brought to the table.

The bummer was that within a week the snow cleared, a rainstorm came through, and then a heat wave, so we could’ve simulated all 4 seasons by shooting 2-3 times that week or the next.

I challenged myself to write an actual script and when I got into it, I found the process fun and exciting. Carving out an actual narrative from such an abstract idea proved a necessary step in making the original concept gel.

By 2025, I had a lot of footage of my dad, a script, an actor, and a general idea how it could all come together. I enrolled my wife into playing the third part. She has a theater background and has been involved in some films as well (check her out in Dwellers and Bunker Heights).

Knowing my limitations, I hired Ryan Freeman to run sound and scheduled 4 hours to complete the rest (all of the dialogue shots) of my film. We gathered at a small park area near my house and got rolling. One camera, one lens, on boom mic, and snacks. (a tasty lunch too).

Everyone involved was cool and helpful as I navigated my first time “directing”. We got about 92.4% done of what I wanted, which was more than I expected. I bribed my daughter to come play a small role about 2 weeks later to film one last scene. I couldn’t ask Ryan to waste a day driving across town for it, so I grabbed a mic and ran audio myself as I shot.

Using DaVinci Resolve (teaching myself as I went), I dumped the footage in and began splicing/slicing/dicing/dragging/cutting the narrative into shape. I reached out to David Mansbach, one of the most talented musician on the planet and he allowed me to use a few of his songs during the film, heightening the intro, the montage, and the credits.

I designed a cover, cut a trailer, and submitted to 8-10 film fests. Thus far, we have won 3 awards, 2 honorable mentions, and got positive fedback. A few festivals didn’t select it, and we have 2 more that haven’t decided yet, but…we are getting a foot of snow today and many are stuck at home bored, so i’m thinking, why not throw it out into the world today to help pass the time?

Aside from lunch, snacks, and hiring Ryan the film had a budget of zero and while you can easily tell, I feel pretty damn proud of what we were able to accomplish. I don’t know if the film is what I expected or wanted, but I am beyond thrilled that it became something and it can be out in the world.

SEE YOURSELF IN is my debut short film and I hope you’ll carve out 12 minutes at some point to watch it. Thanks to everyone involved, like the extras: Vanessa, Owen, Mom, Craig, Amber, Coco, Skyler. If you don’t blink you’ll also meet Calvin Lucas Esper, our puppy we added to the family back in August, captured in the last bit of filming my dad did for the picture.

I have several other short scripts in the hopper, but now I know enough to know when to call in the cavalry, so if you’ve ever wanted to help on a project, drop me a line and let’s make something. Stay warm.

Here is where you can watch SEE YOURSELF IN: